Monday, July 07, 2008

The end!

Wotcher.

This blog is pretty much defunct now. However, You can keep up with me and my horrible adventures over at traumatron.co.uk

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Dissertation.

Ahoy shipmates, it's a blog about me dissertation yer after is it? Well, better late than never I suppose.
The title of the the essay was 'Is the act of trolling destroying or unifying the internet?'

what did you discover which was new?

To be honest the subject I chose was one close to my heart and one I was involved directly in, so I was more writing from experience than casting out my line for new ways of thinking. I read, I had an opinion, I reported, I explained. During my further research into the Internet Meme and various troll activities I did find some funny and some quite scary stuff, mind you.

what was enjoyable about this?

I chose the subject with the full intention of enjoying writing the essay, because the antics of trolls are amusing to me, and I enjoy taking part in online communities - but did find myself running on empty towards the end, when I realised the points I was making were kind of obvious. I tried to focus on how the nature of anonymity on the internet does as much good as it does harm in terms of internet relationships, but really ended up stating what most will already be aware of - people are generally quite irresponsible when you mask their identity.

what was difficult?

I don't generally find writing that tricky, but in this case I found it difficult to bulk out the essay when I tend to work in a 'to-the-point' style. Like I say, there was no great deep understanding of the troll by the end of it, as it was venturing into realms of the nature of humanity and good and evil - which would have taken the writing to a place that perhaps was not in keeping with the rest of the work. What was most difficult was explaining the logic and actions of the troll to as large of a readership as possible. Trying to not be esoteric or use terms that wouldn't make sense to anyone who wasn't an avid web user. Considering the needs of the audience for any work I do is generally quite a challenge.

a summary of the theme, title, main points

Ok, I suppose you've gathered most of this already, but the main points were about bringing to light the different acts committed by the troll. Some of them nauseating and unforgivable, and some of them noble, and how it is possible that a singular mindset can produce those two extremes. Of course it transpired that the 'bad' and 'good' acts are not committed by the same individuals, but by individuals using a common name and identity to hide themselves. I'm intruiged by the nature of the group 'Anonymous', the multi headed hydra of the internet, that often ends up fighting with itself due to the ambiguous nature of it's name. I found simply that we, as human beings, sometimes assume the name 'anonymous' when we want to strike out at something, be it a noble pursuit or petty one.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Stuff and things

Hello! I've been looking at some pretty cool things over the past couple of weeks while we've been away, here's a few of them:

The Orphanage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3TuClW65s8

A spanish horror movie that returns us to old ghost story favorites like Turning of The Screw (Or The innocents, seeing as we're talking about movies), in the sense that we have no excessive gore, fancy editing or cgi special effects, just lots of darkness, sounds and going slowly insane. Very spooky and very much reminded me a theatrical performance The Woman In Black.

Don Hertzfeld's Everything Will Be Ok

Don is an animator of some great renown and his steadfast simple style is refreshing in a world of CGI like Beowulf! This short film deals with the life of Bill, who is seemingly driven mad by the banality of his own existence.

Alter Ego by Robbie Cooper

A book about people and their online persona's within MMORPG video games. It's interesting to see just how many different types of people there are included in here, from the sick and old to the young and glamorous - breaking the stereotype that its only young white males that play videogames. It's generally quite a strange tale that the mesh of all the se people weave, and is a major influence for me in writing my essay about how people transform online - but still manage to fit into pigeonholes that have been specifically created to describe internet users. I'll expand on that later!

Mass Effect - Bioware Games

A video game where you play as commander shepherd, an elite member of the human alliance, charged with stopping Saren, an...alien. guy. he's evil. Yeah, it's fairly standard sci-fi plotting, but the difference with this game is level of conversation the player has with his computer controlled team mates. lots of story lines develop naturally, and it's not something I've seen done so well in a video game before. I've started playing this game for second time, this time with using an attractive female as my avatar, to see if how it affects the other characters in the game - I've played previously as a man, who was quite a goody two shoes, so now I'm keen to see what kind of scrapes my femme fatale type character will get into to. I'm playing all the conversations using the negative, threatening reply options, and i have to say, it's quite a lot of fun being bad. I've had her punching people in the face for talking back, calling people cowards and extorting money. She's my kinda gal.

So yeah. What I've been focusing on a lot lately is how the internet transforms us. Because I really think that it does. The internet certainly did a number on me, and I chronicled that change in the previous illustrated book project. The things I've seen and the things I've done sound bizarre and ridiculous when applied to the real world. But on the internet it's all very 'serious business.' I'm currently watching my friend throw a red alert because I told him a guy that the admitted to his internet message board is a little bit creepy. He's becoming just like I was when i was in charge of the message board, I fear. I was frequently far more interested in witch hunting that I was with running a fun social group. Oh well. I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Gah.

So, I got my prints back from the guys here ta the college print shop, but found that I had made a deadly mistake.

Lee, the chap doing all the printing for me had asked if I could extract the files from the PDF I housed them in, as the printer would not print double sided for the weight of paper that we were eusing. He needed individual files to print one set - then re insertthe paper and print the other side. So, away I go to sort this out by importing the PDF into photoshop, which split it back up in PSD files. Something it also must have done during this process was to rasterise all the images, making them a slightly lower quality that they were for the previous prints I had made. So what I've got back from Lee is a bunch of prints that have jaggy edges on all the text. Plus, the prints are really really dark. Some of the images, this works really well, but not the majority. Also, the jaggys do give all the images and text the appearance that you might be viewing them on a monitor rather than in a book - which is interesting, but I think way too risky to not simply be seen as a flaw in the output by D&AD judges.

It's a crying shame, but I still have a few really nice prints out of the experiment. So as it is, I'm sticking with the copies of the book I've already made for both the college hand in, and the competition hand in. Even though there some changes to the text, as Micheál suggested, I'll have to stick with the previous version - at least for the hand in date. Which is now only a few hours away.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Turnaround

Sigh.

Well, Kristos has just returned from the print shop with a damn fine 300 gsm matt print of his work, and it looks great. Far better quality of stock that the one I currently have. So I may very well do a reprint with Michael's suggestions in terms of text alignment ready for tomorrow. Thankfully, I didnt bind my second copy on sunday, so the materials are ready to use on the new book. Plus, I now realise I have more time to finish the book so I can tart the cover up as well.

Ace-tastic.

Oh, and the guys have just mentioned that the last couple of pages should have more emphasis on the different context of the text. The penultimate page of text is supposed to look like a blog entry, so I can make some alterations to that. I think it'll be worth doing to just push the product that extra few percent.

Books and books

Hello!

Been a long time, hasn't it? Did you wonder what had happened to me? hmm? Did you fret that I'd vanished? Of course you did, you sentimental old fool, you. You love a bit of it.

Any way, down to business. I'm afraid, in my neglect, you've not seen the book project taking shape. I may very well be able to remedy that for this week, as I create an accompanying document for handing in on friday.

Today, I showed Michael the copy of the book I intend to send to D&AD. His feedback on it was a huge help and confidence boost. I was fretting that the story I'd laid out was not entirely clear, and that my idea of attempting to translate things that happened to me on the internet would not translate well to a number of illustrations - but without spoon feeding from me he was able to quickly garner was was going and form a critical response. Without blabbing on endlessly about what was good and bad, he did raise some flags which must be responded to. These are as follows:

Paper Color
Quality of the product
Font and alignment of text

Paper colour
Michael mentioned that the paper the book was printed on was 'too white.' Now, that might sound silly, and it didn't immediately make sense to me, but upon his producing of a magazine and comparing the colours of the paper, all became clear. The paper was indeed, very very bright. This is not a problem for the pages with the illustrations on of course, but the pages with text on, in his opinion were a touch harder to read than he would have liked.
Its something that I had not considered in the creation of the book, as I always thought of paper is paper and that's that - it's not. O f course it's not. The colour of the paper, even if it is the tiniest different shade of white, can make a significant difference in terms of accessibility.
This led to me taking a trip down to the print room here at city college (which i only found about today - the colleges best kept secret, it seems!) to have a word about different types of paper. Sadly, it seems the stock they are using is recycled, and rather thin. The same paper as we have here in our work room. Its not as white, sure, but the thickness is going to cause a problem if i did decide to reprint as the text or images would show through. That would look even less professional than the result I currently have from the mouslecoombe printers.
That said, I've spoken to Beth and Kristos and everyone seems to have different story when it comes to the print rooms services, limitations and such. It doesn't make it very clear for when I'm trying to make a decision whether to reprint and remake my book.

Quality of product
I'm fairly pleased with the quality of the product. It's hand made by myself. The pages are sewn together, and glued to card and other craft paper that I've bought and cut. It's not something that I've done before, and on the face of it seemed like a mighty challenge, but in practice was actually very straightforward. However, the hand made quality doesn't really fit in with the work I've done before. My work is generally all digital, and when I have had things printed I've had them made professionally and, yeah - it's cost me more money but I've been pleased with the results. It seems important for this project to actually hand make the item though. It's a book about me so...I should make , I think. Even though there is the worry that the product will not look like something you would purchase in a shop.
At the print shop I visited today I asked about binding, and they said that they can do it with a wire ring binder and a plastic cover - but that's really not going to be suitable. Not for what is really supposed to be an art book. Quite a personal article shouldn't really be dressed up in plastics which are far more suited to formal documents. It would just look wrong, I think. So that's another mark against reprinting. A plus would be that they said they can shave off the little white borders that I'm currently getting with my prints. An unavoidable side-effect, apparently, of the limitations of printers.

Font and alignment of text
Michael asked about the relevance of the arial black font choice, and I attempted to explain the the font is synonymous with my design. In general. Its a font I always use, and people that have seen my work identify the font with me. Does that make sense? That's the reason for the choice, as opposed to using a font that is perhaps more likely to be found in book of this kind, some thing like the regular arial - which does make an appearance in the book toward the end, the relevance being that it mimics the font in online blog posts. Er, like this one!
As for the alignment, I had to defend my decisions once again, as I've centred the text on each of the pages. This again, is unconventional, and Michael found it jarring. My view is - if he, or anyone is to look at the book and question or react to the text in any way other than 'yeah, that's fine.' then there is a problem. I always thought that if you actively notice the design of something like text, then there is an issue of some kind. But yeah, like I say, the text has been aligned, coloured and the font chosen for specific purposes, which may have to be highlighted in the document that accompanies the book when i send it to D&AD.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Input!

Things that have been influencing the project thus far:

DEXTER
TV series. By day, Dexter is a forensic blood spatter analyst for the Miami-Metro Police Department. In his own time, Dexter is a serial killer. He was taught by his foster father, Harry, to only kill other killers who have escaped the traditional legal system, or were never suspected in the first place.

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION
It is an apocalyptic mecha action series which centers around the efforts by the paramilitary organization NERV, to fight monstrous beings called Angels, primarily using giant mecha called Evangelions which are piloted by select teenagers, one of whom is the primary protagonist. It follows those teenagers and other NERV members until the defeat of the Angels and the eventual apocalyptic ending.

Events in the series refer to Judeo-Christian symbols from the book of Genesis and Biblical apocrypha among others.[3] Later episodes shift focus to psychoanalysis of the main characters, who display various emotional problems and mental illnesses; the nature of existence and reality are questioned in a way that lets Evangelion be characterized as "postmodern fantasy"Hideaki Anno, the director of the anime series, had suffered from clinical depression prior to creating the series, and the psychological aspects of the show are based on the director's own experiences with overcoming this illness.

ARKHAM ASYLUM
is a graphic novel written by Grant Morrison and illustrated by Dave McKean. It was originally published in the United States in both hardcover and softcover editions by DC Comics in 1989.

Book Progress

Well, it's been a week of mulling things over and facing up to things in my past and indeed my present which I'd rather not have done. For the sake of this book, you understand.

I'm going with the idea I had about my online alter-ego Traumatron, and how I ran the UK group over on suicidegirls.com. Its simply a bunch of illustrations based on some of the stuff I got up to while I ruled over that little message board like it was the most important thing in the world. So I had to rejoin the site this week to regain access to all the old threads and pictures and such. And...I'm not entirely glad that I did so. I found a thread about 'members we miss the most'. Was I mentioned? Sure. By one guy, who then later changed his mind! It honestly wounded me a little bit. I poured alot into running that group and apparently no one gives a shit.

What did I do it all for? The recognition? The friendship? or was I really just some guy on a stupid power trip after all? What did I expect to see when I got back there? Weeping women? a statue in my honour?

Christ, I'm such an idiot.

I left the site due to my dislike of the way the whole thing was being run in respect to paying the models, and reputation the site had regarding internet drama. I didn't want to be associated with anything like that as I finally become an adult and get on course with my real life as an artist or designer.

You can't put 'internet group tyrant' on your CV. You also can't say that that your hobbies include "flaming n00bs and pointing out attention whores for great justice."

The truth is, I thought I knew who I was. Now, I'm not so sure.

Does the internet give us a chance to augment our personalities into something bigger? Or does it simply expose us for what we really are?


As far as actual work on the book is going, I've done a 'style test', if you like. A self portrait. I sat in front of the web cam and pulled typically Traumatron-esque poses. Clawing at the sky in rage at someone's stupid comment. Laughing manically as I clear out the lurkers. Scowling intensely as I read the journals of brainless teenagers with problems I deem banal and worthy of scorn.
Then, I scrawled angrily over the pictures of my face in Painter X, transforming myself into what I see Traumatron being personified as. Screaming, corpse like and staring.

This is either going to be very difficult, or very cathartic.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Links and such

Propaganda
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bpx/sets/72057594117941491

Mizuno Junko
http://jmnews.exblog.jp/

Tweekhed
http://tweekhed.com/

Toby Hanes
http://www.eltobe.co.uk/